TWD: Clementine the Scumbag
by MistyxKisame
Summary: After losing Lee and now Christa, poor Clementine must venture forward using her skills, brains, and the scumbag lessons from her father figure and guardian Lee Everett. Will she survive living with the moronic cabin group or will it be too much for her? I had to edit this story, but now its back! Please leave a review. Some characters that died will live.
1. Enter Clementine

This is my first TWD fanfic! I hope everyone likes it! It takes place in Season 2 instead of season 1 and it takes place after the time skip where Clementine is 11 now. This is a rewrite of my fanfic. Some stuff are still the same while other things aren't

WARNING: Clementine is very scumbaggish in this story and the story has changed a little bit, some parts are skipped here and there, and does contain spoilers, so leave now if you don't want either and I don't want to hear any complaints.

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I shivered as Christa poked at the small fire we had going. I wish we could have found a nice cabin or something to sit in while the stupid weasel (at least I think it was a weasel) cooked over the fire. It was lighlty raining where we were, so the fire was pretty low. I wanted to say that it was useless to keep the fire going, but I was afraid she would snap at me or something. Even though I've repeatedly said I was sorry for somewhat causing Omid's death, I felt like Christa was still blaming me for what happened. I hated myself for letting him die, but it was an accident! If anything, they're kind of to blame too! Someone should have been keeping watch! But what does it matter anymore.

"Is it going to be done soon?" I asked.

"Not even close. The flames are too low and it might not be done until morning."

Morning?! I would starve by that time! I barely have meat on my bones. I need food!

"I'm going to go look for more wood." Christa went off by herself.

"I might as well try to keep this fire going while she's gone." I sighed. I went around our little campsite, searching for anything that'll burn. After finding nothing that would burn a long time, I decided to look through my things. I wish I hadn't.

The very first thing I saw was Lee, my best friend. Why had didn't I just stay with him? Every time I looked at the photo, I wonder, what if he was here. Everything was better with Lee. Ever since Omid died, Christa's a bit cold, but she's the only one I have left. Lee's dead, Kenny's...well Christa told me he was probably dead...Ben's dead, Kenny's family is dead, Lily's off on the RV, although I heard Kenny said the thing ran out of gas or something, and parents are dead too. Would it be long before I died too?

Next was a picture Duck drew. I felt really bad. Holding a dead kid's picture of his probably equally dead family made me want to cry. Yeah Duck was a little annoying, but I didn't hate him. I never did. At least he was a nice kid that I could play with and mess around with when Lee was busy. Katjaa was really nice and I was really shocked when she died. Why did she have to leave poor Kenny? Kenny was really messed up after both of them died. I wonder if she feels bad that she left him all alone and angry. I wonder if he's okay now or is he with his family?

After digging around some more, I found a lighter. I dared not to burn Lee's torn photo or Duck's picture. It would be both disrespectful and an insult to their memories. Luckily I found a log and added it to the fire. Now our weasel thing would cook just a little faster. Suddenly, I heard loud talking from the woods. It sounded like Christa was in trouble! When I arrived on the scene, I saw that she was indeed in danger and I needed to help her out. They were both hassling her about her group, which we don't really have. I was caught between two choices. Do I run or do I help? Seeing as they had weapons and we were outdone by weapons, size, and number, I decided, "Fuck that," and threw a rock.

"RUN, YOU IDIOT!" I yelled when she just stood there looking all confused. When she saw me, she bolted off and so did I, although I heard some noises that indicted that she had either gotten hit or shot.

After a while some large guy started chasing after me too. In the end I ended up floating down a river and waking up somewhere completely new. I was scared out of my freakin' mind. Besides the time when I was with my bitten babysitter, I had never really been alone before. I've always had someone with me and nowadays it was even more dangerous for someone like me to be alone. I had no one to watch my back or talk to me or look out for me. Being alone kind of scared me.

"Hello?" I called out. I wish I had someone to call out to. Christa was probably miles away from where I was and everyone I knew was either dead or not here. Where was Molly when you needed her? I wish she was here...or Lee...or Kenny...or my parents... I kept walking, feeling even more scared by the minute. I had no gun and my backpack was nowhere to be seen and I wish I still had it. A few minutes later a dog popped out of the bushes. I smiled at him. Sure he was a little dirty, but he was still cute.

"Hey there boy!" I said smiling. I looked around. I didn't hear or see anyone. Was he alone too? I checked his collar carefully. His name was Sam. "Hello, Sam. I'm Clementine!"

"Woof!" he barked, as if to say hello too.

Great! Now I had a useful companion now! I've never had a dog before...or a pet. Heck, it had been quite some time since I've seen a dog. The last time I saw a dog, he was dead. I can still smell him now. Well that wouldn't happen to my dog! Yeah, my dog...except if his owners were still living I mean.

He walked away with me on his tail. Maybe he knew where some food was! I followed behind him to a small camp. After looking around, I found a doll (it's been awhile since I've played with one), but it wasn't really what I needed...or wanted. I didn't have time to play with toys anymore.

There were zombies walking around!

Suddenly Sam started barking. I got a little scared and slowly walked over. There was a zombie tied to a tree with a knife in his arm. Was he trying to cut his bit out and tied himself to a tree just in case? Well, I didn't have a gun to shoot him, so a massive branch had to work. After bashing in his head (thank goodness I didn't have to do this to Lee), I quickly took the knife out (just in case) and had to wipe it on my leg. Without running and clean water, I had too. Nothing was useful enough to clean the knife off with and my pants were close enough.

"There. Clean enough." I noticed a barrel. "Let's look in there. Maybe there's something to eat in there...hopefully."

After digging around a little while, I found a can of beans which were thankfully not expired...yet. I settled myself on a log and cut the can open. I really didn't wanna cut it with the bacteria covered knife, but I had no choice. Once I opened it, I quickly dug in. Sam sat down and looked at me with those big brown eyes. I glared at him. "Tough titties, Sam. I'm hungry! Go find yourself a rabbit or something."

Sam didn't seem to like that since he growled and bit my arm. I screamed in pain and beat him on the head, terrified. What if he had the rabies?! I can't let him kill me when I've come so far! I managed to get him off of me and kicked him over a large rock, which was followed by whimpers. I looked down at my arm. He had bitten pretty me pretty deeply. It could have worse though. I could have been bitten by a walker. When I went over to the dog, he had impaled in some torn parts on the tent. As much as the asshole deserved to be left there, I couldn't. I should have fed him. Sighing, I took out my knife and finished him off before heading off. I was feeling a little dizzy and needing some rest. I tried climbing a tree, but ended up falling on my butt inside of a bush. When I looked up, I found that some walkers had heard the noise and shuffled on over. I quickly got up and ran, often bumping into some trees. Why did Virginia have to have so many trees?!

I managed to trip over a large tree branch onto my arm and stomach. I winced as whimpered, grabbing my arm. I was doomed. They were coming closer and closer when suddenly one got hit in the head. Pretty soon all of them were down. Before I even knew what was going on, I got scooped up by someone. It was a tall brunette man who had scooped me up and an older man with white hair. Once we got a good bit away from, I thanked them.

"No problem." said the man carrying me.

"What are you doing out here?" asked the older guy.

"Where are the people you were with?" added the guy carrying me. "There's no way you survived this long on your own."

As much as I wanted to say, "You don't know me, asshole! I've been through shit you couldn't even imagine! I can handle myself just fine!" but I didn't want them to leave me, so I said, "M-me and my friend...got attacked."

"Really?" they both looked at each other.

"Yeah...they wanted to know where the rest of our group was. They probably wanted some food or something." I said shaking my head. "She's gone now..."

"Oh...uh, sorry about that." I quickly noticed at the two of them looked at each other. "Uh...I'm Luke and this is Pete."

"I'm Clementine." I said rubbing my arm.

"Nice to meet you, Clementine. You look like you're in pretty bad shape. We have a doctor back at the cabin, so he could...OH SHIT!" Before I knew what was happening, I got dropped on my butt AGAIN! Now I probably have a bruise there now.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!" I yelled angrily. "You just don't drop people, asshole!"

"You're bit!" He yelled looking at my arm.

"Duh, idiot, but it was a dog, not a freakin' walker! See! Look!" I showed him my arm...well tried to. He was too busy panicking about my "walker" bite.

"I didn't see any dog back there." said Pete sternly.

"I...I killed it. You can go back there and see! I'll even show you."

"You killed it?!" Luke looked horrified, as if it was some kind of sin to kill a dog.

" _HE_ ATTACKED _ME_!" I snapped as Pete took a look at my arm. "What the heck was I supposed to do!? Let it keep attacking me and eventually kill me!? Excuse me for wanting to live another day, asshole!"

I shook my head. Meanwhile the older guy frowned. "Hm..."

"Well..." Luke said nervously. "Does it look like a dog bite? I wouldn't know a lurker bite from a mosquito bite."

"Really? That's sad." I rolled my eyes.

"I can't really tell." I rolled my eyes. Of course...then again, Pete does look old and it was a bit bloody and messy, so at least he had an excuse. He looked me in the eyes. "Are you sure it was a dog?"

"I'm not blind! I know what happened!" I said looking him straight in the eyes.

He looked at Luke. "She's not lying."

"How can you tell?"

"See looked me straight in the eyes...probably why you can never beat me at poker."

"So you'll help me?" I asked, feeling slightly hopeful.

"Sure...the others might not like it, but we can't just leave you here."

"You're gonna have to walk though. I'm not carrying you with that lurker bite on your arm."

I glared at him. "Oh fuck...you..."

I stopped, feeling dizzy then everything went black.

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I hope liked the chapter! More on the way!


	2. The Scumbagness is Over 9000

**Lost In The Tides Of Fangirl** \- _**Thanks. I appreciate it. At first I was going to have to restart everything over again b/c I thought that I lost the story. Thankfully I found my backup to it since I deleted off of the site. There's more added onto this story than what I had in before. I hope you enjoy the rest when it comes out. I saw that you also made a review on my story "Caught!"**_. _**If you're still interested in that story, another chapter should be out soon.**_

 **Guest** \- **_You're welcome. I apologize for taking it down, but I decided to do a whole rewrite so I had to. I wanted to put in more things so yeah._**

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When I started slowly (but surely) coming to, I heard voices around me. I was laying down on the ground (sore ass and all) and my blurry vision revealed a group of people standing very close and around me. I sat up slowly, wincing as the pain in my arm revealing that my arm still hurt and this was real. They were arguing about me. When my vision got back normal, I saw some guy was pointing a gun at me. Scared for my life, I ran like hell until a shot was fired nearly hitting me. Were they trying to kill me?! The fuck did I do?!

"What the hell?! I'm just leaving!" I turned around, glaring at the one person who had a gun out.

"Get back over here!" said the guy with the gun.

I sighed and walked back over, feeling angry. Why couldn't I just leave? It would save them a lot of trouble and supplies. I could have smiled when Pete angrily took the gun from him and said, "Watch where you're shooting!"

Suddenly a man ran out of the house and questioned the assholes why they shot. I, of course, spoke up. "That **asshole**..." I pointed at the guy with the hat. "...tried to _waste_ a bullet on me."

"Who you callin' an asshole?!"

"YOU, MOTHER FUCKER!" I yelled at him. "GO JUMP OFF OF A CLIFF, PIECE OF SHIT! YOU DON'T JUST SHOOT AT PEOPLE, MORON! GO SUCK A LEMON, DIRTY PIG! OINK OINK!"

Before the bastard could say anything, Luke stepped in. "Carlos, this Clementine. She really needs some help."

"It'll just be a waste." said the noticeably pregnant woman.

"Just like it'll be a waste to feed someone who'll just die from childbirth." I spat back at her.

"What the hell did you just say?!"

"You heard me, you bitch!" I glared at her. "Look, I don't give a damn about your supplies, medicine, any of you...except you Pete. You're pretty cool. But besides that I don't care about whatever else. I just wanna leave..." here I looked at the man with the hat. "...BEFORE SOME POOR, IDIOTIC FOOL SHOOTS ME FOR NO GOOD REASON! SO LET ME GO! IT'S BAD ENOUGH MY FRIEND...if you can call her that now...AND I GOT SEPARATED, BUT THEN I DAMN DOG BITES ME AND EVERYONE LOSES THEIR SHIT!"

"That's because it **_wasn't_** a dog." the pregnant woman said folding her arms.

"NOBODY ASKED YOU, WHORE! YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT, INCLUDING NOT HOW TO SHUT YOUR STINKY LEGS!"

I noticed Luke giving a "She must be tired and hungry" look to Carlos. I sighed.

"Look, I'm **half** sorry. I'm just hungry and really really really butthurt... _literally_." I glared at Luke. "If you want me to, I'll just leave. I don't wanna cause any trouble."

"Too late for that..." mumbled the pregnant woman.

"I GUESS YOU ALSO DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" I growled. This bitch was getting on my nerves. I feel really sorry for her baby having to hear how mean her mother was. I thought mothers to be were supposed to be nice and stick up for small kids. I hate to see her as a mother now.

"Who's that?" there was a girl poking her head out of the cabin. She looked a bit older than me. Maybe around 16 or something.

"Sarah, get back in the house!" Carlos called to her.

Sarah looked kind of disappointed and I sort of felt bad for her. She's probably the only "kid" in the group like I was after Duck died. After she ducked back inside the house, Carlos reached out his hand to me. I moved my arm to my chest, a little scared to let him touch it.

"Don't be scared. He's not going to hurt you." Luke reassured.

"Hm...I don't know..." After a couple of seconds, I sighed and gave him my arm.

"Well?" the pregnant woman asked as Carlos walked over to them.

"A bite like that...it could be anything...there's only one way to tell..." my hopes fell quickly after he said that. I was a goner.

"How?" asked Pete.

"We wait."

"WHAT?!" I yelled angrily. "YOU...YOU'RE A FUCKING **QUACK**! AND I DON'T MEAN _DUCK_ QUACK! I MEAN A _FAKE DOCTOR_ QUACK! YOU'RE AS DUMB AS THAT MOTHER FUCKER RIGHT THERE!" I yelled pointing at Luke. "WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR ARE YOU, CUZ YOU AIN'T NO HOSPITAL OR CLINIC DOCTOR! WHO THE HELL CAN'T TELL A DOG BITE FROM A WALKER BITE?!"

"You shut your mouth, little girl!" the bitchy pregnant lady snapped. "I don't see you with a PHD."

"Just because you're pregnant, doesn't mean you can talk down to me! I'll drop kick you in a second!" I growled. I turned to Carlos. "I'm not lying! It's a dog bite!"

"Look, if by tomorrow morning, you're still alive and don't have a fever, I'll clean it for you and stitch it. In the meantime, you'll stay in the shed."

"B-but...but..." I was so mad I wanted to cry and would have if the fat ass and the Happy Trigger weren't glaring at me so hard. "...this isn't fair..."

"Life isn't fair." I was shaking now when Miss Asshole said this.

"TELL YOUR KID THAT SINCE HE OR SHE'S BEING BORN TO A HEARTLESS HARPY!" I turned to Carlos. " _Please_ mister, my arm **needs** to be clean, stitched, and bandaged! If I don't, I'll die!"

"We have all that stuff inside the cabin. We could probably get away with..." said a fat guy with glasses.

"ALVIN!" The pregnant woman elbowed him to get him to shut up, but I had already heard enough. They had supplies I could use! I could kiss him!

"I'm not wasting supplies on a lurker bite. If turns out you're telling the truth, I promise to help you in the morning."

"BUT!" But he was already walking away. "Mother fuckin' dog...I should have let you die slowly!"

"I'm really sorry...but it's the best we're gonna get." said Luke, looking apologetic.

"The best? THE BEST?!" I shouted. He nodded. "Damn it...I guess that'll do...but when you fuckers see I wasn't lying, YOU'LL ALL PAY WITH FOOD AND SOMETHING TO DRINK!"

Meanwhile Pete was giving the capped idiot back his gun. WTF PETE?! "Finger off the trigger son."

"I ain't your son!" he grabbed the gun. I glared at him.

"Shoot me or shoot at me again and I swear your nuts are mine."

"Yeah right. Get goin'." he pointed at the shed with his gun.

"Are you trying to compensate for something?" I asked raising a brow.

"What?" I smirked repeating my question and he turned bright red. "N-no! What the hell, kid?!"

"Yeah you are! Mr. Tiny Dick over here, Luke!" I giggled. "Don't worry. I won't tell anybody!"

"Clem, don't say things like that!" Luke turned bright red too. "Nick isn't trying to compensate for anything. He doesn't need to..."

"OH MY GOSH!" I burst out laughing as I walked to the shed. "Luke and Nick! Sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love! Then comes marriage! Then comes a baby carriage! That's not all! That's not all! Last time I saw 'em, they were fucking on a wall! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I was too busy bursting a gut while Luke and Nick were doing I really don't know while I was laughing. Luke was probably trying to calm him down or something. Once they finally caught up to me, Nick glared at me while Luke unlocked the shed. I walked in, giggling. After I saw what it looked in the inside, I turned around. "OH HELL NO! You're not really putting me in here are you!?"

"Sorry, Clementine." he muttered shutting the shed doors.

"Sorry my butt..." I mumbled. As they talked about how dumb it was to waste their time on me as they walked away, I quickly looked around for something I could use. I wasn't going to stay in here and die! I was going to get out as fast as I could and leave. Damn them all for locking me in here!

I spotted a hammer on the shelf and pulled up a small work bench. Before I could grab it, I guess I leaned too far on it and as it couldn't take my weight, I ended up falling on my arm. I sighed and pulled up the board and grabbed the hammer. I stumbled upon a piece of board that would allow me escape to the outside. Perfect! Before I did though, I opened up a toolbox revealing some kind of thread. Fishing wire I think...I pocketed it and went outside. Remembering Alvin mentioning those supplies, I decided to go outside to the house. If I got caught, I'd kill them with my knife and take their supplies. I silently crept along the house and found a room with Alvin, the fat guy from earlier in there. He was with the pregnant lady.

"It makes me feel like a fucking idiot when we're not on the same page!"

"We ARE on the same page!" Alvin insisted.

"Not out there we weren't! I saw you getting soft!"

"What did you want me to do? Shoot her?"

"I want you to think about our family **FIRST**!" I glared at her. If her child been me, I'm pretty sure she would have wanted him or her put down like she obviously wanted me to be.

"It's all I think about, so don't give me any shit..."

"Hmph! I need some air!" she turned and left. I shook my head. She was being mean to the poor guy. All he was doing was trying to help, like she should have been! I knocked on the window.

He looked shocked and looked around before coming over. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Getting the help I should have received a long time ago!" I said bluntly. "I need help."

"Me? No, I'm sorry, but I can't do nothin'."

"Please, you have to help me!"

"Are you outta your mind? Even if you ain't bitten, which you probably are, you can't be here!"

Alvin said looking behind him. "You've gotta get out of here! You understand?"

"Come on! You can't just let me die like your wife would! You're nice, I can tell! I don't wanna end up like..." I stopped and closed my eyes trying not to cry. When I had composed myself, I looked him straight in the eyes. "If you let me die, I'll haunt you in your dreams **AND** I might just take that baby of your's with me!"

I didn't really mean that last part. I wouldn't even dream of harming a baby. He looked at me for a long time. I sighed. "Never fucking mind, Lard Ass! I'll just fucking go..."

"Yeah...I think you should..." he sounded mad, but I don't care.

"Enjoy your pussy whipping **FAT ALBERT**!" I yelled before he shut the window. I went along the side of the house and found a board. I quickly pulled out my hammer and removed it. Looking around underneath, I found cans, a dead possum skull, and a trap door. Of course, I couldn't use a hammer, so I used my knife.

"Shoot!" I hissed as my knife broke in my hand, but at least it opened the door. After looking around, I slipped inside.

Once was inside I heard them in the kitchen talking. I decided not to ease drop and have a quick look around. I went into a room with...ducks...dammit! I looked around and finally spotted a couple of rags in a corner. I nabbed them and placed them in my pocket. I looked everywhere and found nothing useful except a watch. I smirked and grabbed it. "Mine now, bitches!"

I went upstairs next. I found the bathroom next. There wasn't anything, but a needle. I placed it in my jeans and made a mental note to be careful when moving. When I was about to leave, I heard someone coming. I quickly hid in the closet, afraid. Then I heard Rebecca come in. I breathed in relief as she went to the mirror and splashed some water on her face.

"Please...please...please let it be his!" She sobbed. Wait. Let it be his? Did the baby not belong to Alvin? I suddenly felt bad for talking down to him. I'd apologize tomorrow for sure.

When she left, I waited a bit, pressed my ear to the door, and after I heard no one coming, I went across the hall and got spotted by the girl from earlier. I panicked for a moment when our eyes met. She looked unsure for a moment and then whispered "You're not supposed to be in here."

I looked behind myself before stepping in. "I know that! I can be anywhere I want! You tell anybody or say anything..." I held up my hammer. "...it'll be hammer time and not in a good way either!"

"I...I...o-kay..." I noticed she looked terrified. "I-I'm sorry. I won't say anything. I just thought we could be friends. Please don't tell my dad I talked to you!"

"Why? What will he do?"

"He gets mad."

"What does he do? Does he spank you or ground you?"

"He...gets angry and says he's disappointed in me and that he just loves me and wants me to be safe."

"T-that's it? Nothing else?" I was shocked. Carlos looks like he doesn't put up with any shit.

"Yeah! It's the worst!"

"That's...odd..." How was that the worst?

She looked at my arm. "What happened to you?"

"A dog bit me." I said, looking down at it.

"D-does it hurt?"

"Yeah...wanna see it?" She nodded and I allowed her to look at it. She winced when she saw it.

"Ew!"

"I know. I could die if I don't clean it and stitch it."

"Well...I don't have any of that stuff...but I do have something you can clean it with."

"Thanks...uh..."

"I'm Sarah."

"Right...I'm Clementine." I said looking to the door.

"We're friends!"

"Huh?" I turned back to her.

"Right? We can be best friends! I haven't met any other girl my age since way before, so I figured we could be!" she said cheerfully. "I mean, Rebecca's baby and I could be friends, but it'll be so little and we can't have any good conversations until it's, like, way older and..."

"If you'll shut up, sure."

"Really?" She seemed really eager to be friends with a kid, but I wasn't really complaining. You needed friends in a world full of zombies. Sarah didn't seem too bad and she was the first one so far to seem interested in being friends.

"Yeah, whatever!" She held her pinkie finger out. WOW! Now this is getting serious! I looked back at the door and quickly pinkie promised. She turned and gave me the bottle. After grabbing it, I quickly thanked her and quickly went back to the shed, not daring to go out the front door.

Once I got back inside, I quickly worked on my arm.

"Oh crap! This is going to suck!" I winced. I got the stuff Sarah gave me and poured it in my wound. Not the best choice in the world. "OH SHIT!"

The stuff fizzed around my wound, probably meaning it was working. "Now for the horrible part..."

I carefully stitched my arm, screaming like a dog in pain, but also trying to keep as quiet as possible. After finishing, I looked at my arm. It wasn't too bad, but it would do. I reached for the rags and wrapped them around my arm, but accidentally dropped it. When I reached down to get them, I luckily spotted a walker, screamed in surprise, and jumped back, reaching for my hammer. With quick maneuvering, I attacked him and killed him. Once I had done so, I heard someone behind me. It was Luke and the others.

I glared at them. "I told you, idiots I wasn't l bitten!"

Luke noticed my arm. "You patched yourself up?"

"How'd you do that?" questioned Nick.

"Did she steal from us?!" the pregnant bitch asked.

"This doesn't change a thing. She hasn't done anything to us." Thank you, Pete!

"Says the man not carrying a baby."

"I did." I said angrily. "And what the fuck does this situation has to do with your damn kid!?"

"And you think we can trust her!" she said completely ignoring me.

"Dammit! Don't even start! You all would have done the same thing if you were just as tough as this girl, so just save it!" Pete snapped.

"Thank you Pete! At least someone's not a selfish, heartless asshole."

"Bring her in and I'll check out her arm." said Carlos, looking ticked off. Everyone left, leaving just me and Luke. I looked down at my arm. I regret nothing I did and I'm proud that I did steal!

"You hungry?" Luke politely asked.

I gave him the finger and walked off inside.


	3. Pranking Nick

In the house, Carlos looked at my arm while jack ass and Luke stood by and watched. Luke spoke up after a few minutes. "How's her arm, Carlos?"

"She'll be fine, although her sewing needs work." he commented as he used actual bandages on my arm. Nick made the ugliest face ever (as if he was disappointed or something) and walked off. Luke looked at him and left too.

"You shouldn't have done that."

"Excuse me?" I raised a brow. "What did I do besides the right thing? Look I know I took your supplies, by that's no reason to be mad. I could have died..."

"I wasn't referring to that. I was talking about my daughter." I raised a brow. "There's something you need to know about her. She isn't like you. If she knew how the real world was...how it is now, she'd crease to function."

"Oh...uh...I'm sorry..." I lied. I wasn't really sorry. It's not my fault he babies her. Poor girl probably didn't even know how to defend herself. Carlos seemed to believe me and merely nodded before leaving. Luke came in soon after with a bowl.

"You hungry?"

"Yeah!" I nodded and went over to the kitchen table. I really hate oatmeal, but food is food.

"Soooo...what are your plans? I mean, you're basically on your own now."

I stopped eating. Well, I wasn't all that sure. I hadn't thought about it until now. "Well I've obviously not staying with you assholes! Especially Mr. Happy Trigger!"

"Look, Nick's not a bad guy..."

"You don't have to stick up for your boyfriend, Luke." I frowned. "I could have died out there. I don't care what you have to say anymore, ESPECIALLY AFTER YOU DROPPED ME!"

"Look I was scared, okay? I can't help I thought you were bit by a lurker and I really didn't wanna lock you in that shed."

"Well...I guess I can forgive you for that since it wasn't your fault...but everyone except Pete can go fuck themselves." I said shaking my head. "That isn't something you can just forgive. I'm just a child, for goodness sake. My last group wouldn't have done that. Anyway, I'm not planning on staying here. I'll find Christa or stay on my own. I mean, yeah I don't have my parents, Lee, Omid, Carley, Sandra, or anyone else in the world now, but at least I have myself..."

"I understand, but if you change your mind, you're welcome to stay here." he smiled.

I smiled back. "Thank you, Luke, but I don't think that'd fly with Miss Bitchy."

"Who? Rebecca? The pregnant one?"

"Yeah! Did you not see the shit she was giving me?" I shook my head as I helped myself to more oatmeal. "I hate her. I don't care if she is pregnant!"

"Rebecca's just thinking about her baby, that's all."

"Don't try taking up for her Luke. I don't give a shit and a half! If her child ever ends up like that, I won't be sticking up for his or her ass. I remember when my friend was in a similar situation, but a little different. When this whole thing started, this group we met up with...a couple of them saved me and my friend's family. He was all covered in walker muck. They wanted to kill him or at least throw him out because they thought he was bit."

"Was he?"

"Hell no! Well, at least not then..." I frowned. "If my friend Lee hadn't stuck up for him, he probably would have been thrown out there."

"That's messed up."

"Yeah...just like when you assholes thought I was bitten by a walker." I went back to eating.

"So what happened to your parents...if you don't mind me asking."

"They died." I wanted to slap Luke. He looked apologetic, so I forgave him just a little. "We went to Savannah to find them...and...I saw them walking in the street. I don't know how they turned, but..."

"I'm sorry. Mine are gone too."

I sighed. Thanks for bringing up the memories asshole. Speaking of the devil, Nicolas Cage walked in. I glared at him. He kind of stood there being saying something as he rubbed the back of his head. "Uh...sorry about earlier..."

"You're sorry...you're sorry..." I stood up and glared at him while pointing my spoon at him. " ** _YOU'RE FUCKING SORRY!? IF YOU'RE SO DAMN SORRY, HOW ABOUT YOU GET A_** ** _DAMN TIME MACHINE AND SHOOT YOUR DAMN MOTHER'S STOMACH WHEN SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH THE BASTARD CHILD THAT HOLDS THE NAME NICK, THE UNWANTED LIABILITY! _DON'T YOU BRING YOUR STUPID, MORONIC, _TINY DICK_ IN THIS ROOM AND SAY _YOU'RE SORRY_ WHEN YOU'RE NOT! YOU JUST FEEL BAD! IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU, _WATCH THAT ASS_ , BECAUSE YOU AIN'T GONNA BE FEELIN' ANY PLEASURE DOWN THERE WITH A SIZE 6 SHOE UP THAT ASS! NOW MAKE LIKE MICHEAL JACKSON AND BEAT IT**!"

Nick scowled and left. Luke, of course, glared at me. "You know, that wasn't very nice."

"Oh no! Did I hurt Lukey Wookey's boyfriend's feelings? Well tough titties! I don't care!" I sat back down. "Luke, I know you love that ass of his, but it's not worth it. He's just going to drag you down. He's like this guy Ben in my old group. That guy was a mess and a huge fuck up...but at least he learned his lesson."

"You shouldn't have talked about his mom. He had to put her down you know."

"And am I supposed to care?"

"Well you could pretend to!"

"Look, I really don't care about anyone or anything right now, so why don't you go on and fuck the little bastard before he rapes Sarah."

"That's an awful thing to say!"

"And I'm an awful person, so go! Get lost, fag! Get rekt!"

Luke gave me a death stare and left. Then the pregnant bitch came in. "Oh. You're still here!"

"Damn right I am bitch!"

"What the fuck did you say?"

"You heard me, Bec." I smirked at her. "Don't go acting all tough when you don't even know who the father of your own kid is."

"What the...I knew you were going to be fucking trouble!"

"Believe it, bitch." I smirked and winked at her. "You're lucky if I don't kill you in your sleep!"

She glared at me. "You know what? You're not even fucking worth it. If you know what's good for you, you'll be gone tomorrow."

I rolled my eyes and continued eating. "Whatever hoe."

Pete came in just as I was finishing my food. "Where's Luke?"

"Don't know, don't care." I shrugged eating more oatmeal.

"Okay then. We're going to get tomorrow. Do you want to come?"

"Fishing? Sure. I'm doing anything."

"I'll see you in the morning then."

After I finished eating my oatmeal, Luke had come out with a blanket. "Here this is for you."

"Thanks. I hope this doesn't have any cum stains on this." Clementine mumbled that last part to herself. "Where am I sleeping?"

"Hm...I guess you can sleep on the couch."

"I'm not sleeping on that thing! No telling what happened on that thing. Can't I just have your bed?"

"Uh no. Besides. Do you really wanna sleep in the same room as Nick?"

"Oh fuck no."

"There's another bed in Pete's room."

"Nah, that's an inappropriate idea. A grown man in the same room with a small girl? Hell no! Maybe Sarah'll let me sleep in her bed."

Clementine gathered her blankets and went into Sarah's room. She was reading. She looked up as Clementine came into the room. "Hey, Clementine! What's up?"

"I don't wanna sleep in the same room as Pete. I mean he's cool and everything, but it ain't right if you know what I mean."

"You mean you want to sleep in here with me? Cool! We can have like a sleepover and do all kinds of fun stuff!" Sarah put down her book, looking excited.

"I could use some fun right now, but can it wait. Today's got me tired as heck. Maybe tomorrow. We can have all sorts of fun. It's been a while since I've had any kind of fun."

"I can't wait!" The two girls then got into bed and soon drifted off to sleep. Maybe tomorrow would bring a much better day.

* * *

The next day, I woke up to find Sarah was sleeping. I poked around her room and soon found a marker. I thought about drawing on Sarah's face, but decided not to. She was the nicest person I've met so far besides Pete in this place. I smirked when I thought of a few people. I opened up the room door and tip toed downstairs. Peeking in the first room, I found Nick and Luke sleeping. I quickly uncapped the marker and began scribbling on Nick's face. I drew a unibrow, a circle around his eyes, and colored circles on his cheeks. Slowly lifting his shirt, I carefully wrote "Master Little Dick" on his chest. Man Nick was a heavy sleeper since he wasn't feeling all of this.

Deciding that was enough, I planted the evidence, silently left out of the room, and went back upstairs before she got caught by anybody. After a few minutes, a knock on the door happened. Carlos poked his head in and told us it was time to eat. After we putting on our shoes, we were about to head down to the kitchen when they heard Luke and Nick.

"Nick, I'm telling you I didn't do it!" Luke pleaded to the man.

"Yeah right, Luke. Just confess. Who else would do this!?" growled the raven haired man.

"Not me! Come on, Nick!"

"Don't talk to me unless you're ready to confess!"

"I wonder what they're yelling about." said Sarah.

"I know why. I drew on Nick's face this morning." giggled I.

"And he didn't feel anything?"

"Nope! Sh! Look." Just then Nick's face was in full view. Sarah bit her lip to keep in the obvious laugh building inside of her when she saw Nick's face. When he saw them he quickly placed the cap over his face thinking his face was not seen.

"Good morning Luke." I said trying my best to keep my poker face on.

"Oh hey, Clementine and Sarah. You two sleep good?"

"Better than usual." I admitted. "Sleeping on the ground isn't good on your back."

"Agreed. I hate sleeping on the ground and the floor. Is anybody in the bathroom?"

"No. Why?"

"No reason."

"What's up with him?"

"Nothing." he said quickly. A small chuckle slipped out of Sarah's lips. Luke caught on to it and looked at Sarah.

"Uh we'd better get going. Come on Sarah." I grabbed Sarah's hand and quickly hurried to the kitchen. Once in the kitchen, Sarah and I burst out laughing once we were sure Nick and Luke were gone.

"I kind of feel bad for laughing." she giggled. "How did he not feel that?"

"He must be a deep sleeper." I said wiping a tear from my eye. "It was pretty funny, huh?"

"Yeah, but don't you think they'll eventually find out its you?"

"Yeah, but I don't care. He shot at me. Besides, pulling pranks are fun. I pulled them on Duck all the time."

"Who's Duck?"

"He's a kid I knew from my last group. He died from a walker bite."

"That must have been scary."

"It was. He's in a better place now though. Come on. We'd better eat before the food gets cold." Sarah nodded and we went into the kitchen. For breakfast we were eating fish. It looked like a much bigger meal than what we usually had, but it looked weird. I poked at the fish with my fork and sniffed it. It's been a while since I've eaten fish. I took a bite. It was okay.

Breakfast was going pretty well until Nick and Luke showed up. Once everybody saw him the results were mixed after a very brief look of shock and surprise. Had one blinked they would have missed it. Rebecca and Carlos pretended that the fish was much more interesting. Alvin tried his best to cover up his laugh with a cough causing her to nudge her husband and hiss his name. Pete gave a cough and Sarah began poking her fish, not trusting herself to laugh. Nick's cheeks had black smudge marks on his face, the marker around his eyes, and that unibrow was still there.

I tried my best not to look at Nick or Sarah, but winded up looking at Sarah anyway at the same time as I was looking at her. She looked back down at her fish, but peeked again. I fought hard not to laugh, making faces as I was struggling not to laugh. Apparently I was making some pretty funny faces, because Sarah's eyes got wide and she burst out laughing causing me to laugh.

"Sarah..." Carlos looked at his daughter.

"I-I'm s-sorry dad." Sarah tried to stop laughing. "Clementine was making me laugh."

"Are you sure it wasn't Nick's big ass unibrow or those coon rings?"

"I thought you said it came off!"

"I said it kind of did!"

Nick left, probably to go cry like a little bitch. Luke looked at me. "Why did you have to go saying that? As a matter of fact, I bet it was you!"

"Damn right it was! Karma's a bitch, ain't it? How ya gonna act?"

Luke looked as if he was about to say something, but he never got the chance. I spit chewed up fish into my spoon and flicked it at him. I had to leave the table after that.


	4. Nick and the fish

Guest- I might update soon, but I don't know just yet. Maybe I will. I haven't given up on it, but I assure you I will come back to it.

Guest- Clementine probably would have a bad attitude and a hot head too if Kenny was with her into Season last chapter is a DBZ reference. I doubt Clementine can be a jerk like in this story unlike Lee who can be a major jerk in season 1. Clementine barely has any. I guess because she's a child. I don't know.

Lost In The Tides Of Fangirl- Thanks. I appreciate it.

* * *

"You know that wasn't nice what you did to Nick. Now he's all grumpy." Sarah whispered as we were walking to the stream for fish. "I don't like it when Nick's mad."

"Well Sarah…MAYBE THE LITTLE THE BITCH SHOULD MAN THE FUCK UP!" I shouted. Nick turned around, glaring, but Luke told him to ignore me. "We should have taken pictures."

"That would have made him even more mad."

"No it wouldn't have. I mean, he didn't have to know." I smiled.

"I guess." Sarah was quiet for a minute. "Do you think its going to come off?"

"Oh fuck no! That was a permanent marker I was using. He ain't getting' that off without scrubbin' some skin off."*

"That sounds painful."

"He could use a little scrubbing anyway. He smells."

"Oh and you smell like roses, huh?" Nick snapped.

"Turn the fuck back around and suck a lemon, you fucking coon! Your breath smells like ass!" I gave him the finger.

"What did you just say to me?!"

"Kiss my ass, noob! You smell like a wet dog!"

"Calm down back there. Nick, leave Clementine alone." said Pete.

"HA!" I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Clementine, stop provoking him."

"HA!" Nick laughed in my face.

"Keep laughing, raccoon face." Nick shut up then.

Once we got to the stream, Luke was looking for fish while Nick and Pete was watching for zombies. Sarah and I looked at some small fish swimming by. "Aw, they're so cute!"

"Meh." I shrugged. "They're not like the ones in the store. These fish are boring. No bright colors or anything!"

"They are pretty plain." she admitted.

"Hey, I bet I can catch these fish with my bare hands."

"No you can't. They'll slip right through your fingers."

"Maybe that applies to you, but not me." I smirked.

"Is that a challenge?"

"Duh! If you win, I'll apologize to Nick and we'll stay up all night having all kinds of fun no matter how tired I get. Heck, I'll even teach you how to shoot a gun! I mean as long as you don't tell your dad."

"I've always wanted to know how to shoot one…okay, but what if you win?"

"I get to insult Nick all I want and you have to help me pull all kinds of pranks."

"You're on!"

I rolled up my sleeves while Sarah took off her jacket. We splashed in the water tried to catch fish. The little ones were too hard to catch the big ones were too fast. Sarah had nearly caught a big one a few times, but it slipped out of her hands. I glared at her. Of course she was able to do it. Her hands were much bigger than mine. Angry I brought down my fist on the water.

"STUPID **_*SPLASH*_** FISH! **_*SPLASH*_** DAMMIT! **_*SPLASH*_** " I yelled. With that last splash, I punched a fish. I quickly caught it while it was stunned. "HAHAHAHA! I WON!"

"Crap! I almost had ones a few times!" she pouted. "What are you going to do now? Are you going to toss it back?"

"Nope. Watch this." I snuck behind Nick in a bush and put a fish in his shirt. He hollered like a big baby and started dancing around. Luke was trying to claim him down while I was laughing my ass off. Sarah was laughing a little too.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS MY SHIRT?! GAH! IT'S IN MY UNDERWEAR!"

"Calm the hell down, Nick!" Pete yelled over to Nick who was still dancing around. "Do you want to get attacked by those things?!"

"Yeah, Nick. Just shut up!"

"It might be a leech!" I yelled.

"LEECH?!"

"You're not helping!" Luke glared at me.

"I know!" I laughed.

"For someone with a fish in his pants, he's a good dancer." Sarah whispered.

"Shut up, Sarah." I hissed.

"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GAAH! IT'S MOVING AGAIN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! IT'S IN MY FUCKING PANTS!" Nick started to hump the air.

"Calm down, idiot!" Pete had come over trying to get him to shut up. I noticed the net with fish in it.

"Dang! Look at all the fish Pete caught!" observed Sarah.

"Yeah. Oh that one's pretty!" I pointed at one of the fish in the net.

"That's a rainbow trout."

"It's too pretty to eat. Let's toss it back into the stream. All of the ugly fish can stay in the net."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" the raven teen asked, adjusting her glasses. "Won't Pete get mad if we tossed the fish back?"

"He won't notice. I bet he didn't even count them. Help me free 'em." Together we untied the net and I carefully reached in and quickly grabbed the fish. The damn thing nearly escaped out of my hands with it wiggling around. "Hold still, damn fucker!"

It fell onto the ground and tried flopping towards the water. Every time I tried picking it up, it kept slipping out of my hands. Getting irritated, I grabbed a rock and beat it, trying to knock it out. It ended up being a bloody mess.

"I think you killed it."

"No shit, Einstein!" I snapped.

"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! I DON'T WANT THAT THING SUCKING ALL OF MY BLOOD!" Nick squealed.

"Shut up! Hold still!" Luke tried getting his best friend to shut up while Pete was trying to help as well as looking for walkers.

"Damn it, Nick! Hold still and let me…"

"SHIT! IT'S TRYING TO CRAWL IN MY FUCKING ASS!"

"Shouldn't you tell Nick it's a fish?" Sarah looked around. "He's louder than usual. We've been luckier than usual."

"True." I smirked when I thought of an idea. I grabbed the mangled fish and headed over to Nick. I counted to 10 and then BAM! I hit him straight across the face. "MAN THE HELL UP, YA PUSSY! THAT'S FISH, NOT A LEECH, YOU LITTLE BITCH."

"W-what?" Nick had stopped dancing around.

"I dropped a fish in your pants!"

"What the…you little brat!"

"You're just mad that you made a fool of yourself screaming like a banshee."

"Clementine..." Luke gave me that look again.

"Clementine these nuts. Are we really going to sit here and give me shit about that prank I did on your boyfriend or are we going to get outta here before those walkers show up?"

"We're going to talk about this later."

Alvin was in the kitchen reading an old magazine out of boredom when we came in. "'Hey, everybody. Catch a lot of fish?"

"Yeah and Nick had one nearly go up his ass."

"It would have never happened if you haven't put it inside my shirt AND said it was a leech!"

"And make you dance like like a fool in front of Pete, Luke, and Sarah?" I started dancing like Nick was at the stream. "Oooh look at me, I'm Nick. Check out my dance moves. What's wrong, Nicky? Am I not doing it right?"

"Stop mocking me, you little shit! If you weren't little girl…"

"…I'd still whoop your ass, coon boy!"

"Clementine, don't say that. It sounds…well racist."

"Well he kind of looks like a raccoon." Sarah said out loud. Everybody looked at her. "A cute raccoon I mean…wait no. That came out wrong! I…uh…I'll just shut up."

"Yeeeaaaah. I think you should." I said raising a brow at that cute part. It sounded suspicious, but passable. "Anyway, Nick you're a dork. You're lucky I don't have a camera or something and the internet isn't up. Otherwise I'd have been posting your dance moves right now."

"Luke and Uncle Pete should have left you in the woods."

"And your mother is a whore. Oh, I'm sorry. WAS." Nick looked as if he was going to charge at me, but Luke stopped him.

"Maybe you two should go upstairs and go do…uh something."

"Whatever. Come on Sarah. We got stuff to do." Sarah and I headed upstairs. Once the door had shut, I laughed like crazy. "Did you see the look on his face? He actually thinks he can defeat me!"

"I don't think you should be laughing so much." Sarah said as she was taking off her tennis shoes. "Nick looked as if he wanted to hurt you."

"I ain't worried about that chump. That man's weak as hell." I brushed it off. "Let's not talk about Nick. Let's talk about something else liiiiiiiiike pulling more pranks."

"As long as nobody gets hurt…or made fun of in a mean way." she said most likely remembering her promise.

"Okay then, let's start planning then. Feel free to suggest a prank if you think of something. Remember, we just want to scare, embarrass enough to make plenty of puns and jokes, and possibly humiliate."

"As long as it doesn't kill or hurt anybody or hurt anybody's feelings and we can all laugh at it."

"Oh we'll be laughing." I assured her. Then to myself a mumbled, "We meaning me and my future children when I tell them about it."

"Okay then. You promise?"

"I promise." I said crossing my fingers behind my back.

"Let's get to work then!" Putting our heads together, Sarah and I began making plans on how to pranks other members in the house. Sure some of her ideas were pretty lame and kind of uninspiring, but with my help they could turn into something great! Now to prank the other members of the house.

* * *

Who should I prank next?

*Permanent marker can be really hard to get off your skin sometimes.


	5. Slippery Trouble

Here's another chapter full of pranks and such. A lot you guys wanted me to prank Luke the most while Rebecca was the second most.

WARNING: Contains cruel prank.

* * *

I was sitting at the table at breakfast working over how to prank Luke. Sarah refused to prank her father, one of the main people I wanted to prank. I decided to put him off until later and go about doing it without Sarah's help. I wanted to prank Nick a few more times, but Sarah was scared he'd actually go about killing me this time.

I thought about taking his underwear, but I figured that would annoy him more than humiliate or make me laugh. Besides, taking away someone's underwear was what a small child would do. Maybe around age 10 and younger! What would be the best course of action? I suddenly had an idea. With swiftness, I gobbled down the rest of my breakfast and I didn't give a damn if everyone was staring at me like I was crazy. I ran out of the room and to the upstairs bathroom. Digging inside the draw, I looked for the things I had kept hidden from the others. I dug inside of my box I had underneath the bed and dug out some astroglide I found under Nick's bed. Giggling I pocketed the stuff and headed back downstairs.

I peeked inside the kitchen and called out Sarah's name. "SARAH! COME HERE!"

"I'm eating…"

"Hurry up!" I ran upstairs to her room. After a few minutes, Sarah joined me. "There you are, pleb! We got come planning to do!"

"So that's why you were eating so fast. You've got an idea. What is it?"

"Well we're gonna prank Luke because he's the easiest one to not piss off to the point of strangling us…well me anyway. Anyway what we're going to do is take this lube here and make a huge messy circle to make Luke slip."

"Won't that hurt him?"

"Just a little bit. He won't die or break anything."

"If you say so…how are we going to get his attention?"

"Follow my lead." we went downstairs and I called Luke's name. "Luuuuuuuuke! Come here!"

"What?" Luke came out of his room.

"Come play with Sarah and me!"

"Uuuhhh…"

"PLEASE?! I'll stop calling Nick names if you do!"

"And you'll apologize, right?"

"Yes! Just play with us! Please!"

"Okay, but apologize to Nick first."

"I'll do it later. I wanna play first!" I said trying to keep my excitement. "Come on, Luke! Pleeeeeeaaaase?"

"Fine, but you have to apologize to Nick."

"I swear I will. Just come play Hide and Seek with us."

"Why couldn't you play that by yourselves?"

"To spice things up, duh! Come on, just stand here and count to 20. We'll be hiding somewhere inside the house. We promise, right Sarah?"

"Right!" She nodded.

"If you guys say so."

"Cover up your eyes and start counting."

"Okay then." Luke covered up his eyes and started counting. "1…2…3…4…5…"

"Come on." we tipped toed upstairs. "Let's hide together under your bed."

"Shouldn't we hide somewhere in different places?"

"Normally yeah, but we're going to need each other for this plan."

"I'll take your word for it." Sarah got under the bed while I squirted some lube on the floor and spread it around. I had to try my best not to fall in. Downstairs I heard Luke announce that he was coming. I snuck underneath the bed and laid there. We were under there for a few minutes and then we started getting antsy.

"Where is he? He's taking forever. You don't think he forgot about us?"

"I don't know and I can't say I don't care. My arms and legs are starting to hurt." I said trying to get more comfortable.

"Mine too. My legs are falling asleep. Where is he?"

"I hope nothing happened to Luke. I want to be the one to hurt him! I mean prank the crap out of him."

We waited a few more minutes and that idiot still didn't show up. Sarah had already fallen asleep while I was on the verge of falling asleep myself. Suddenly the idiot finely showed up, slipped, and fell. I rolled from underneath the bed. "GOT YOUR ASS!"

"Ow! Ugh! Geez!" Luke rolled over on this back groaning. "Y-you! I could have broken my neck!"

"Hahaha! If I was a guy, I'd teabag you. As a matter of fact, I still can!" I placed a teabag on his face.

"Very funny. Help me up!"

"Oh fuck no. You're staying where you are." I placed more lube around him to make him slip and slide around. I watched as he tried getting up and failing. Oh how I wish had popcorn. "Look you came into the wrong neighborhood, boy."

"Nick warned me and I didn't fucking listen! Shit!" Luke had started to stand up, but fell back over again.

"Looks like you should listen, Skywalker." I smirked.

"Come on, man! This isn't woah!" Luke hit his head on the dresser and collapsed. I burst out laughing for a good while until Sarah came out.

"Did it work?" she asked rubbing her eyes.

"Yep! I'm surprised you didn't hear all the commotion."

"What happened?" she said looked down at him.

"Oh he laughed so hard he fell over and hit his head." I lied.

"Oh. Do you think he's okay?"

"Let me check." I checked for a heartbeat. His heart was beating still. "He's okay."

"What now?"

"We take his clothes, that's what!"

"I-I'm not doing that." She blushed at the very notion of taking off Luke's clothes. "You shouldn't either, Clementine."

"I'm not going to strip him all the way. Just his pants and shirt."

"I still don't wanna do that." She started biting her lip. I smirked.

"What? Afraid you won't be able to help yourself and started riding him like a dildo."

"H-how could you even say that?!" The raven was turning even redder than before. "I-I'm just saying that Luke wouldn't be too happy about it. That's it!"

"Mm-hm!" I rolled my eyes at her. "Just cover your eyes or something. I have a plan."

I then started taking off Luke's clothes, allowing him to keep his underwear which were cute. Who knew Luke was a smiley face kind of guy? Using a wig dummy*, we duck taped the dummy onto his shirt, stuffed his clothes with bath clothes, towels, some clothes from Sarah's dresser, and just duct taped everything together.

"Now what?" Sarah asked once we were done.

"Help me take Luke to the bathroom." I said as I duct taped his hands and legs.

"I'm not doing that." Sarah quickly looked away.

"Fine. I'll do it myself." I opened out the door, looked around, and quickly dragged Luke. Once in the bathroom, it took my all for me to put him in the tub. Sarah helped a little putting him in, but ran out once the top part was in. After he was in, I shut the shower curtains and ran out too.

"Now for the dummy." I took the dummy and turned to Sarah. "After you hearing yelling, go to the bathroom and scream that you've found Luke. You had no clue I did that."

I tiptoed downstairs and knocked on the door of the room that belonged to Nick. "'Clementine, if that's you, go the fuck away."

"I came to tell you that Pete…Pete…he was bitten today. I'm sorry."

"What?!" As soon as I heard the sound of a chair scrapping the wooden floor, I opened the door, tossed in the Luke dummy, and placed a nearby chair on the door. I giggled as he tried getting free.

"OPEN THE DAMN DOOR, CLEMENTINE!" He yelled beating on the door.

I took off running and hide underneath the house. I tried my best to muffle my laughter. I crawled where Nick's room was and heard him still yelling like a fool. I soon heard footsteps and Pete's voice. Then I heard yelling from Nick.

"THAT LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT! WHERE IS SHE?!"

"Calm down, Nick. Who are you talking about?"

"I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT LITTLE CUNT YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ROT IN THE WOODS!"

"YOU MEAN YO MAMA!?" I yelled not being able to help myself.

"WHERE IS SHE?! I JUST HEARD HER!" I could imagine Nick looking around for me. I suddenly heard a loud scream from the bathroom. Right on cue. I heard the stumping of feet and waited. I was cracking up as I heard all the commotion upstairs. I felt like I was about to pee myself. Oh boy! I was on a roll here! Who should I prank next? Perhaps Rebecca? Oh yes, she deserved to be pranked. She couldn't be pranked hardcore though. She is pregnant after all.

After a while, I heard people calling my name with Nick stomping around looking for me. I bite my lip, listening to the people above. Nick's raging was the funniest part. Nobody thought about looking below the house, so I was safe until I got hungry or something. Pete tried getting me out with the promise of food at first and then said that I wasn't going to get into trouble.

"Like heck she isn't!" said Nick. "When I find that brat, I'm gonna strangle her!"

"STRANGLE THESE NUTS!" I yelled not being able to keep it in.

"COME OUT, YOU COWARD!" Nick yelled.

Pete yelled my name and repeated the same thing about me not getting trouble if I came out. I didn't believe they wanted to talk to me. I wasn't coming out just yet. After a while of waiting, I heard footsteps. Looking around, I saw Nick outside looking I bit my lip. He had a gun with him. I watched as he looked around and then started walking. I quickly went over to the large hole underneath the house and duct taped the board so it wouldn't fall. Dumbass walked right on by without suspecting a thing. Hours passed and still nobody found me. I decided to stick it out for the night instead of going back. After making sure I was safe under the house, I slowly opened up the latch of the house, stole a sleeping bag from the room as that was where the blankets were, got inside of it, and fell asleep. Tomorrow I would move onto another prank victim.

Well that's it for now. The prank on Luke was cruel, but that's who this Clementine is. If only we could be really cruel in TWD: Season 2. You could be in Season 1 though. I have more pranks lined up for everybody in the house. Don't worry they aren't too mean. She's basically getting back at them for what they did to her.

Nick- Almost shooting her and pointing a gun at her

Luke- Dropping her in the woods

Rebecca- being a salty, cheating bitch

Carlos- Being a crummy doctor

Now you may be wondering about that scene with Clementine dragged Luke. That girl is strong. In the first season she literally dragged Lee through walker infected streets into a safe place after they saw her walker parents. Luke is most likely slightly lighter than Lee was, so she dragged to the bathroom without much struggling. So anyways, Rebecca's next since so many people suggested her be pranked the second most.


	6. Nicolas

Guest- Yes that is very true. Alvin deserves to be pranked for not standing up for Clementine. I blame Rebecca. Sarah can be very creepy indeed and Pete was trying to help when he suggested cutting off her arm. However that doesn't mean a thing if Clementine wasn't bit by a walker.

Guest- Ooooooooh! DAMN! That buuuuuuuurn! Need some ice for that burn, Christa? XD Seriously though, it was pretty lazy to kill off 2 characters off the bat or rather getting rid of 1 character and killing the other unless the voice actors couldn't do Season 2 for some reason. I think Christa might be dead, but I don't know if it's true. I was hoping for a Lilly choice in Season 2, but she never showed up. I hope she does in Season 3. As for after scumbag Lee and Clementine, I don't know what I might do next. Probably season 3 after I play it. I'm not watching anybody play it before I get into it. At first I didn't know what you were talking about with the whole Michonne thing, but after looking it up, I'll have to think about it. As for 400 days, probably not. Since I've never played it, I'll have to watch someone play it since I don't have it nor do I have any interest in it.

Lost In The Tides Of Fangirl- Thanks. I'm glad you're enjoying it.

* * *

Hey everybody. Another chapter brought in by me. I'm not sure if flinging a skunk in there is pranking, but whatever.

WARNING: Contains Nick x Sarah. You have been warned.

* * *

I was sleeping peacefully when I felt something tickling my nose. When I woke up, I saw a cute little cat like creature. It was licking my nose. I sat up and backed away to observe the dirty little creature at distance. It started creeping closer to me. I reached out and petted it. It seemed to respond nicely to my touch and crawled into my lap. It was so cute.

"I'm gonna call you Nicolas!" I cooed at it. It just blinked at me and started licking my fingers. "I bet you're hungry, Nicolas. I don't have any food though."

I looked at the watch I found and it read 9:30. Judging by the sky, it was morning. I decided to steal some food from the kitchen. How though? They were probably still on guard for me. Fuck it. I snuck in before. I can do it again. I thought about a plan for about an hour. I slowly moved up the latch and found nobody there. Grabbing Nicolas, I entered the same room. I peeked into the living room and found Rebecca and Sarah. They were talking about something boring. I had an idea.

"Nicolas, distract them." I tossed Nicolas into the room. A few minutes later, I heard a scream from both of them.

"AAAAAH! SKUNK! ALVIIIIIIIIN!" screamed Rebecca. Wait skunk? I peeked in a little and noticed his white striped which were not there before. He was pretty dirty. Plus it was dark down there. How could I have known?

"NIIIIIIIICK!" I watched Rebecca and Sarah run off. I quickly ran to the kitchen and poked around a large pot of oatmeal. I quickly scoot a bunch of it into a pot. Suddenly I felt something brush against me and I knocked down the pot. I thought about scolding Nicolas but decided to just grab him and get going. Grabbing my pet, I placed him down, placed down the pot into the ground, climbed back up, and jumped down with my skunk. I closed the latch and dug in. The oatmeal smelled great and Nicolas thought so too.

"Here you go, Nicolas." I said feeding him some in a bowl. He nibbled quickly on his meal. As we were eating, I heard listen for talking.

"…in here! Find it Nick!" I heard Sarah squeal. "Please find it! I don't wanna stink!"

"I'll find it. Don't worry. Come out you damn, skunk." I heard footsteps. "SHIT! SHIT!"

I heard some gun shots.

"Damn snake! Did you see where it went?"

"I saw it go under there." I frowned when she said that. I decided to get a closer look. I peeked into the living room. Sarah was standing on the couch while Nick was nowhere to be found. "Any luck, Nick?"

"No. I don't see it or the skunk." I suddenly spied a horrifying site the snake was on her shoulder. I had two choices: allow Sarah to get bit or warn her and risk Nick attacking me. I couldn't let her get bit. She was my friend.

"SARAH! WATCH OUT! SNAKE!" By the time I had yelled it out, it leap in her shirt. Luckily she saw it going in.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" She screamed. She began dancing around. "It's in my shirt! NICK!"

"I'm on it!" He punched Sarah right in the titty. He punched her so hard she fell over the couch and hit the ground.

"Are you okay, Sarah?" I got beside her.

"It bit me…and I think Nick broke something." Sarah said when her breath returned into her.

"Where did it bite you?" I asked as Nick and I got down beside Sarah.

"On my chest…" she touched her chest.

"You're going to have to suck the poison out." I said turning to Nick.

"W-what?" Nick looked at me.

"Yeah you! Just suck the poison out. I can't do it! You're the adult here!"

"What about Rebecca?! She's older than me!"

"That bitch is dirty! No telling what she has. Besides I'm pretty sure she doesn't want some woman on her chest."

"Then we'll wait for her dad to come back."

"Think about what you just said for a minute." I said raising a brow at him.

"Please do it, Nick." Sarah looked at him with those big brown eyes of hers*. "I don't wanna die."

It took a moment, but Nick finally gave in. "Fine…just lift up your shirt and I'll do it."

I headed the kitchen for a glass of water and a bowl. As Nick began doing it, Sarah started giggling. "Hey stop moving."

"I-I'm sorry! It tickles." Sarah seemed to be liking this. "Ah…hehee…"

"Seriously, Sarah." Nick looked uncomfortable, but I believe it was only because he didn't want Carlos to catch him lest he get the wrong idea and shoot his ass. Nick continued to suck out the venom while Sarah was fighting off trying to laugh.

"That's right, Nick. Lick that titty." I whispered in his ear.

"Get out of my ear, brat!" He hissed. "I'm trying to save her life!"

Sarah grabbed Nick's head and pressed it to her chest. How bold! Nick didn't even question it. Both seemed to be enjoying it…a little too much to be honest. I don't even think he was sucking out the venom anymore. Where's a camera when you need one? I watched them some more.

"Uh, guys…" They continued to ignore me. "Uh…guys…this story is rated T. You guys really need to stop. Guys? Guuuuuuuuuuys? GUYS!"

Well damn. This was reaching XXX levels. I continued watching them got at it. Sarah had this weird look on her face as she was massaging Nick's hair and stuff. I decided to get going and head upstairs to snoop around. I found a camera in the back of Sarah's closet along with a few other things I'd never think Sarah would own. Oh yeah! Blackmailing time! Giggling, I ran downstairs and snapped a few pictures of them.

Surprisingly they didn't notice me doing it. Nick had started rinsing his mouth after he was finished when all of a sudden BAM! Sarah just planted one on Nick right after he spat the water out ! She just got on top of him and they started making out. Okay this is the part where I even I wanted to look away…just kidding. I wanted to see some hardcore shit. I waited in curiosity as Sarah took charge and began kissing him without mercy. Maybe she had some sexual tension inside of her that just needed to be released. She was a bitch in heat just like Nick was.

"This is getting good." I said snapping more pictures of them. "Come on, a little more touching and squeezing!"

"Wait, wait!" Nick pushed Sarah off. "We shouldn't be doing this."

"But…"

"I'm not risking it with Carlos." Nick said looking away. "Rebecca's in the next room over anyways."

"Oh come, Nick! Your boner was practically inside of her!" I said quickly gathering my pictures. I had to blackmail them somehow.

"I'm not doing it."

"Your pants say otherwise, Nick."

Suddenly we heard the sound of a door. Nick gave Sarah back her t-shirt. "This never happened."

"The smell of sex says otherwise." I rolled my eyes as we settled down on the couch.

"We never had sex! Now shut the hell up before I give you the strangling you deserve!" He whispered as he straightened his shirt.

"Whatever." I mumbled. I could sense the tension still in the air. Both of them were still red and Nick had blue balls.

"We're back!" announced Pete.

"Don't squeal and I won't murder you." Nick whispered.

"Don't talk to her like that!" I said in shock.

"I'm not talking to her, you little imp."

"Threaten me again and Carlos finds out about your little boner for Sarah."

"Where's your proof?"

"Right fucking here." I flashed a picture of them.

"You fucking bitch…" Nick growled.

"Oh Clementine, you're back." said Pete.

"I never left." I said. "Before you say anything about me and what I did, what you need to do is be glad I came back because I saw a snake."

"A snake?"

"Yeah. It bit Sarah."

"It what?!" Carlos looked as if he was going to bust a gut.

"Don't worry. I saved her by sucking the poison out."

Nick glared at me. I scratched at my chest, hoping he got the point. He got it and looked away. "Yeah and they cleaned it too."

"Especially clean. You can lick the cream off of it." Nick pinched me. "I mean…Sarah's all good now. Now all we have to worry about is that pesky ol' skunk!"

"Skunk?" Alvin looked around. "How'd the hell a skunk get in here?"

"The fuck should I know." We said in unison again. "It just came in here like that snake."

Nick and I looked at each other again, wondering why the heck we were saying things in unison. It was decided that we would look for both while Carlos tried persuading Sarah to let him take a look at her bite. Pretty soon the snake was found and its head was quickly shot. While someone took it outside to burn, I was pulled aside to be talked to. Shit. I was hoping that this moment wouldn't come, but sadly it was. Now to think of a good lie to prevent me for getting kicked out.

* * *

This skunk featured in here is a little skunk pup. Lucky for Clementine, it didn't feel threatened and didn't spray her. Rebecca and Sarah didn't get sprayed because they got out of there before he could react. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. More on the way with pranks this time.

Another thing, you can have a skunk as a pet...in some places. It's illegal to take a skunk's gland (I forgot what its called but it's the part that has that nasty scent) out of it because its inhumane or something. While I understand that, I feel bad for those owning a skunk in the UK.


	7. Revenge is a Dish Best Served Buggy

Hey everybody. I'm glad you like my fanfic. I'm even happier when I get reviews, so I appreciate them a lot when you guys have the time to leave one or feel like leaving one.

Guest- I didn't know that the guy that plays Omid also plays Troy. However now that I think about it, it makes sense.

Guest- Well I don't read TWD comics nor have I ever seen the TV show. I'll hear or read about it. Otherwise I don't watch/read about it.

Guest- I didn't know that he also voices Prismo. I might do that.

* * *

"Sup, Sarah!" I said coming into Sarah's room without knocking. Luckily Sarah was only putting together a puzzle.

"Hey, Clementine. You wanna help me with this puzzle?"

"Sure…oh." I looked down at the puzzle which had 1000 pieces. "Oh second thought, fuck it!"

"Oh come on. It's not that hard."

"Did you put this together all of this?" So far she had more than half of the puzzle done. "How long have you been putting together this puzzle?"

"Yep! I did all of this by myself." Sarah looked proud of herself. "It only took me an hour."

"AN HOUR?!" I frowned. "I couldn't even do half this junk in an hour!"

"It's pretty easy."

"You must be a fucking genius or something." I said picking up a puzzle piece. "This would take weeks for me to finish."

"Hm. That's kind of sad." Sarah said placing down another piece.

"Whatever." I said still feeling jealous.

"So what did Luke and Pete say?"

I sighed and then poured into what the assholes had said to me. "…Long story short they said I was wrong 'blah, blah, blah', apologize to Luke for practically traumatizing him, 'blah, blah, blah', (hillbilly voice) 'don't want to have to put ya out' (hick laugh), 'blah, blah, blah', don't be a cunt…"

"They called you that?"

"No, but it's what they meant. I kind of tuned out a bit." I shrugged as I tried to stack up the puzzle pieces. "I'm not going to listen to them. I'm still going to prank the shit out of them, but not like I did Luke because everybody around here is a little bitch."

"Do you think that about me too?"

"Of course not. You've actually proven yourself to be pretty useful." I admitted. "So what are you going to do now?"

"I'm putting together my puzzle." Sarah said looking at me weirdly.

"No, I'm talking about Nick."

"What about him?"

"Don't pretend like the two of you weren't making out." I smirked at her as she blushed as she placed down another piece. "You want some of that Nick cock."

"H-hey! Don't talk like that!" she blushed even harder. "Besides, Nick already said no."

"Fuck it! He only said it because of Carlos, but mainly because of Rebecca. If everybody but us had been gone, the two of you would have gone at it like rabbits."

"Would not!"

"Would to!"

"Would not!"

"Would so!" This continued for a few minutes until I had enough. "CONFESS!"

"I swear I…" I then jumped on her and began tickling her. "Hahahahahaha! Stop! Hhahahaha!"

"Confess! Confess!" I got on top of her and began tickling her feet.

"N-never! Hahahahahahaaaaa!" Sarah giggled a little louder.

"Yo, guys it's time for din…" Luke just stared at us. "Am I…uh…interrupting something?"

"Yeah. We were just about to have sex and such. We were just warming up." I said with sarcasm. When Luke looked really uncomfortable, I rolled my eyes. "We were just playing, stupid!"

"Riiiiiiiight. Well it's time for lunch, so come on."

At lunch, I could feel the tension in the air between those two. I felt like breaking the tension and just say "FUCK IT! JUST DO IT!" and forced them to kiss. I just sat there deciding how to get these guys to fuck. I kicked Sarah's leg. When she looked at me, I glanced towards Nick and then at her.

She simply shook her head and continued eating. I whispered in her ear. "Just do it."

"No, I can't."

"Do it. Do it!"

"No."

"Just…do…it…"

"No."

"You will. Just watch, my friend." I continued eating, plotting on how to get these two together. Every now and then I would get an idea, only to quickly shut it down as there were things that would either take me too long or was really risky. After lunch was done, I went back under the house to feed Nicolas the pieces of food I managed to sneak into a napkin. Nicolas quickly ate up whatever was in the napkin as I went back up into the house. I'd check back in on him later. Sarah was up in her room working on her puzzle when I came in.

"Hey, Sarah. Still working on that puzzle, eh?"

"Yep." I watched for a while. Getting bored fast, I left downstairs and to go scope out the place. I had to lay down some more pranks, but none too bad that would get me in trouble. I snuck into the living room and spotted Rebeca. I thought about tying her shoes together and make her fall down. Nah, I didn't want to hurt the baby. I tapped my chin and decided to go back to Nick and Luke's room for that shaving cream I saw earlier. I thought about dropping off that lube, but decided against it. I wanted Nick to beg for it. To say that he that he wanted his lube back would be glorious to hear!

I pocketed the stuff and went to look for more things. I got a bucket from beside the closet underneath the stairs and went outside for some critters outside. After looking around for some bugs to pranks with, I found a lot of worms and placed them inside of the bucket. I couldn't find any good bugs besides a blue beetle and a ladybug. That would have to do. I went into the kitchen and saw Carlos, Luke, Pete, and Alvin chatting about supplies and food.

"Clementine, where'd you come from?" Luke looked up at me.

"Outside."

"What the heck were you doing outside?"

"Minding my own business, asshole." I rolled my eyes. "I can shit in the woods if I feel like it."

"I didn't need to know that." said Luke.

"Suit yourself." I shrugged and went into the bedroom I shared with Sarah.

"Oh hey, Clementine. We'd you go?"

"Outside."

"What were you doing out there?"

"I'll tell you later." I placed down the bucket. "You finished with that puzzle?"

"Not quite. I can't find the last piece." Sarah looked frustrated. "I think it's in the living room somewhere. It's the last place I had it."

"I see. Let's go down and look for it." Sarah nodded and we headed downstairs to search for that puzzle piece.

"Hey Sarah, do you know what we're eating for dinner?"

"No. I think its Nick's turn to cook. You could ask him."

"Is he a good cook?" I asked.

"He's okay…well he's not horrible."

"So his cooking stinks?"

"Well some days he's good, but then he and Pete get into a fight over the food some days, then it tastes bad."

"I see." If we were in a cartoon, a light bulb would have appeared over my head. I had an idea. I decided to wait before launching my plan into effect. We searched for a few more minutes before we gave up.

"I could have sworn it would be in here." the raven frowned. "Maybe dad's seen it. Dad!"

Sarah took off for the kitchen while I went upstairs. I looked inside of my bucket and found the bugs and worms wiggling around. The ladybug was on the side of the bucket while the beetle was on the dirt inside of the bucket wiggling on his back. I placed a shirt over the bucket and tied a string around the bucket before going back downstairs.

"Found that piece yet?" I asked coming downstairs.

"No. Well it's only one piece after all. It'll be fine."

"I guess."

"What do you wanna do now?" she asked.

"I don't know. What do you wanna do?"

"Hm…I know! We can give each other a makeover!"

"A…make…over?"

"Yeah! We can do each other's hair, put on makeup, try on clothes, and stuff like that! It'll be so much fun!"

"Hm…I don't know. My friend Alfred and I used to play pretend before the walkers were around, and Duck and I would try on clothes sometimes for fun. I've never put on makeup…well I did when I was a toddler, but I don't remember that but my mom told me so that's how I know that."

"It'll be fun. Come on."

"I guess so, Sarah. Come on there."

Sarah and I went upstairs and started putting on makeup on. To be honest, I was nervous about letting Sarah put makeup on my face, but after she was done was happy she did. I looked gorgeous! When she tried taking off my hat, I slapped her hand away. "Hey! Don't touch the hat!"

"I just wanted to do your hair."

"No! You can't see my hair!" I placed both of my hands on my hat. "Touch it and I'll kill you!"

"O-okay." she backed off. "Well you do it to me then."

"If you're sure…" I began putting makeup on Sarah's face. I had no clue what I was doing, but I tried my best. After I was done with her, she looked like a clown. "DONE!"

"How do I look?"

"You look good."

"Really? Let me see." Sarah left out of the room while I grabbed the bucket and took off downstairs. I peeked into the kitchen and went in there once I saw that everyone was out of there. I peeking into the pot. There was a big pot of soup and I smirked. Perfect. I grabbed a container and scooped as much as I could inside of it. I got the pitcher of water, poured some into a cup, washed the worms off, and chunked them into the chunky soup. I scooped the beetle out with a spoon and quickly tossed it inside of the soup and the lady bug in after it before stirring the soup until the worms and bugs were covered up. Before anybody could catch me, I slipped out of the kitchen and went upstairs. Sarah was washing her face in the bathroom.

"Didn't like your makeover, Sarah?"

"Very funny, Clementine." Sarah was cleaning the last bit of the lipstick off. "I'm not sure if that was intentional or you just didn't know what you were doing."

"A little bit of both." I admitted. I was about to tell Sarah what I had just done, but closed my mouth. Sarah would blab to her dad about it and ruin everything. I had to keep quiet until much later. After I washed off my makeup, We decided to just play it safe and try on the clothes left behind by the previous owners of the cabin until dinner came.

As we all sat down for dinner, I had to keep on a straight face as everybody's bowls were passed out. The food smelled good, but in truth there was a nasty surprise for everybody at the table. I stirred up my soup and starting blowing on it before scooping up some bit and praying that the scoop didn't contain a bug in it. This was starting to be a bad idea. I really should have thought this out more clearly. I couldn't say I wasn't hungry because they might get suspicious.

Thankfully something happened. I heard a crunching sound and I looked over at Rebecca. She was making a face, but didn't say anything for some reason. Pete looked at her just as he was about to lift a spoon with a worm on it that was still moving. Alvin noticed it too and somehow started choking on his food. After a good hit on the back by Luke, Alvin coughed up a worm.

"Ew! Gross! What is that?" I asked looking at the worm that started moving right after I said that.

"It's a worm!" said Sarah equally disgusted.

"You alright, Alvin?" asked Luke.

"Yeah. Pete don't eat that! That's a worm in there!"

"Oh shit…I think I just ate one." Luke looked nauseas. "I thought it was a noodle."

"What the…" Pete saw the worm in his soup. "Nick!"

"I don't know how they got in there!" Nick said raising his hands.

Rebecca spat out what she was crunching on. It was the blue beetle! "Ugh! I had a bug in my mouth!"

"I think I'm going to be sick." I said pushing away my soup.

"Me too." Sarah shoved away hers as well as Carlos and Luke.

"I thought I told you to make sure you clean everything and keep an eye on the food! This is the third time this has happened, Nick! You're so damn irresponsible! The hell have you been doing the whole time?!"

"I don't need this." Nick stormed off.

"Come back here!" he went after Nick.

"Well shit. I guess we're going to have to go to bed hungry since Nick fucked up the food…again." Rebecca scowled.

"We really need to stop letting him cook." said Alvin.

"Agreed." said Carlos.

We sadly had to end up tossing out the food and we all parted ways. I went underneath the house ready to eat my food I stored. However Nicole had beat me to it. He had already gotten inside of the container and licked up the last of the food. I wanted to kick him or beat his ass, but I couldn't. For one thing, he was just a baby. The second reason was because he'd stray me. I lead him out from underneath the house and let him eat the food we'd thrown out. Once he was done, I stayed underneath the house and played with him until he was too tired to play anymore.

Once I got back inside, Sarah was reading on her book when I came in. "Yo."

"Hey. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Me too." admitted Sarah. "Nick should have kept an eye on dinner."

"He should have." In my head I was laughing like mad. **_'He should have kept an eye on dinner especially since he knows I've been pranking the fuck out of everybody as of late! Heheh. I bet the idiot doesn't even suspect me since something like this has happened before. What a loser! HAHAHAHAHA!'_**

"You wouldn't have any food, would you?"

"Nope. Sorry." I said truthfully. **_'If Nicolas hadn't eaten all of my food, I would have had some food in my stomach by now.'_**

Soon it was time for bed and we got into bed together. Today was a good day…a risky day, but a good day overall.


	8. Chapter 8

Guest- Thanks for telling me. I'm probably not going to play it, but I can always watch a playthrough of it.

* * *

The next day Pete, Nick, and I went out to the river for some fish. Not even 5 minutes into the walk to the river, Nick announced that he had to pee. Pete and I rolled our eyes while Nick off to go pee. We decided to leave his ass and continue on.

"Won't Nick get mad that we're leaving him?"

"He knows where the river is and he's got a gun. He can take care of himself…sort of." A few minutes into the walk, Pete started telling me about how big of a pussy Nick was. When Nick was around my age, Pete took him on a hunting trip and the pussy couldn't shoot the deer.

"Ha! What a baby!" I smirked. Pete just smiled and then said pussy showed up.

"Why did you wait for me?" Nick glared at Pete.

"Do you think we wanna stand around and wait while you piss on a tree? You know where the river is boy."

"You still could have waited." he mumbled as we started walking again.

"Pete, do you know if they're going to be any fish?"

"I hope so. With Rebecca eating like she does, we'll need a lot of food."

"Why not just kill her and take out the baby?" they looked at me. "What? She's obviously a bitch.

I'll happily make her death slow and painful."

"You're evil." said Nick looking at me strangely.

"And you smell like ass most of the time." I walked on ahead.

Soon we arrived to the stream, but there were bodies everywhere, dead. We all looked in horror. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph..."

"Wow! What happened here?" I looked a little scared. "Who did this?"

"I'll bet it was Carver." said Pete.

"Well what do you expect from someone like him?" said Nick.

I remember them saying something about Carver when they were trying to decide what to do about me. "Who the heck is Carver?"

They just glanced at each other. Pete walked away toward a body. "Let's get a quick look around."

"What? Oh hell no! I'm not sticking around!" Nick backed up a bit, clearly terrified.

"Don't act like a pussy, Nick." I said even though I was kind of thinking the same thing. "Someone might have some ammunition or might be alive."

"She's right, Nick." Pete pointed to some bodies. "You two can go look over there. I'll check over here."

We both nodded and checked the bodies. All dead and shot in the head. "These are dead."

"Shot in the head?"

"Yeah..." I looked across the stream. "There's more over there!"

Pete nodded. "Nick, you keep a look out while Clementine and I look over there."

"Okay, but hurry up." Nick said.

Pete and I looked around finding nothing until I spotted the asshole that attacked me and Christa and my backpack. He reached out for my back, which had water in it. I pushed the bottle inside of my bag and closed it, glaring at him. I refused to let this asshole drink my water after taking away my dinner...oh and Christa. Suddenly I heard fires being shot and Pete groaning in pain. I turned and saw Pete's ankle. He was bit! No...no...I looked over at Nick who was shooting at some zombies.

"Damn it...get both your asses over here!" he called at us. Meanwhile Nick was calling us too. I hesitated before running towards Nick. Just then we heard Pete scream and when I looked he was getting bitten by walkers. Nick then proceeded to give me shit about not helping him as were running. "What the hell was I supposed to do, asshole?! Shoot at them? With what? A GUN I DON'T HAVE!?"

"Well you could of…you should…dammit…"

"The fucker was bit anyways. There was no helping him!" I yelled as we ran. "He was going to die anyways."

Nick looked back, looking sad. We were soon trapped inside of some sort of shed. I sighed, looking around. I noticed some jars and picked one up.

"What's that?"

I shrugged and handed him the jar. He opened it up, sniffed it, and drunk it.

"What the hell? That could be pee, dummy!"

"It's whiskey."

"Too bad it wasn't rat poison. We could have used it." I yawned.

"Want some?"

"W-what?" I looked down at the bottle. "Do you have cooties?"

"You still believe in that shit?" Nick smirked.

"Well duh! You have cooties or not?"

"Of course not." I lied grabbed the bottle from his hand and drunk some. It was nasty as hell, but being thirsty as hell, I still drunk it. After a few minutes, we went through a couple more jars. For some reason, I even found him sexy as hell and felt a little fuzzy inside. "Oooooh, Luke. Have I ever told you how good you look?"

"You're just saying that..." he slurred. "And it's Nick.

"Right...anyway, I mean it..." I giggled. "You're really cute...you remind me of someone I really liked once."

"Oh?" he drunk some more whiskey.

"He was pretty cute...too bad he died." I sat on Nick's lap. "You know...nobody's around. How about a little kiss? Or maybe you and I could make like you and Luke and do like they do on the Discovery Channel!"

"Wait, what?"

"I'm kidding, stupid boy." I thought for a full minute, before smirking. "Hey, Nick. A grown man like you should be hydrated. Drink some more."

"Happily." Nick slurred and drunk more and more. After a few more drinks, I popped the questioned on him.

"What do you think about Sarah?" I asked.

"Man, what don't I think about that nice piece of sexy ass."

"Oh?" I held out the recorder I had hidden. "Can you repeat that a little more for me?"

"I said she has a nice ass. Man, I would love to plow that ass all night." Nick had a dreamy look on his face. "I'd bust all kinds of nuts inside of her all night long and all year long."

"Would you creampie her?"

"Oh yeah I would. As matter of fact, I'd creampie her so bad, we'd have enough 'cream' to fill up a fucking cake."

"Interesting." I made a face. Nick then went into great detail about what he would do to Sarah if he ever got the chance. After even 2 minutes in, I started to fear for Sarah. What Nick wanted to do was beyond insane. If he ever got Sarah alone and drunk, she'd be ruined forever. Maybe Sarah shouldn't get with this nut that wanted to do all of this perverted shit.

"…and then I'd make her suck on it like it was a piece of candy." Nick licked his lips.

"That's disgusting, Nick." I made a face.

"Like you would even know what I'm talking about, kid."

"You keep saying that." I rolled my eyes as I stopped the tape. I got up and peeked outside. The walkers had cleared out a bit and now only a few walkers were outside just chilling…uh standing and walking around as walkers usually do. "We can leave now, Nick."

"Naaaaaaaaah…" Nick drunk some more whiskey. "I'm just gonna hang here and masturbate. That means I'm gonna have my fucking dick out."

"I didn't need to know that." I felt sick in the stomach as Nick unzipped his pants. "Well I'll go back and get the others to get you because I'm not gonna…HEY!"

I had barely managed to dodge the whiskey jar he threw at me. "GET OUT SO I CAN JERK OFF, KID!"

"Geez, don't have to tell me twice." I quickly gathered up a few more jars along with a sack. "See ya, asshole."

Looking around, I watched to see if any walkers were close and I took off running. I was relieved when I finally saw the house. I turned the doorknob to the back door because none of the idiots had even thought to lock the door for some reason and I saw Carlos and Rebecca.

"Clementine!" said Carlos urgently.

"Yo, Carlos." I said waving.

"Where are the others?" he asked quickly.

"Who? Oh! Uh...Pete got bit and..."

"What?" Carlos and Rebecca said at the same time.

"Yeah. When we were down by the stream, Pete got bit and Nick and I took off for safety. Nick's in the woods in a shed by himself."

"Where?" asked Carlos.

"How should I know? Down by the fucking woods somewhere in a shed somewhere near the stream." I shrugged.

"Well where are the others?!" asked Rebecca.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked looking confused. "It was only me, Nick, and Pete...unless..."

"Alvin and Luke went looking for you three." said Rebecca grabbing a gun from Carlos. "Damn it...I told him not to go..."

"Well shit! What are you guys waiting for? GO! GO!" Rebecca and Carlos took off.

"Selfish bitch..." I mumbled to myself as the two of them ran out the door, but I was a bit relieved. Suddenly the doctor poked his head into the house.

"Clementine, take care of Sarah while we're gone."

"What? Why?! We should come with you!"

"No. It's too dangerous. Just don't let anyone into the house." he then left. I sighed. Why did I have to look after that girl? She was older than me! I'm still at the age where I need a babysitter! "Dumb ass mother fucker...I can't believe the stupid bastards took forever to try and find us...assholes!"

When I opened up the door to our shared room, Sarah took a picture of me, almost blinding me. Sarah showed me my picture. "Look!"

"Don't fucking do that! You scared the heck outta me!" I said grabbing my picture from her.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"I was just taking pictures. See!" she showed me a camera. "Take a picture of me, now."

"I don't see why not." I snapped a picture of her.

"That's pretty good." Sarah said observing her picture. "How many fish did you guys catch?"

"None cuz Pete got bit and we didn't get anything."

"W-what?"

"Yeah. Nick and I had to go hide because there were too many walkers." I explained. "Rebecca and your dad went off to go look for them."

She turned and started sniffling. She probably didn't want me to see her crying. I started to comfort her, but decided against it. She then calmed down and looked at me. "I'm okay now…you wanna see what I found?" Sarah reached underneath her bed and pulled out a gun and held it sloppily. "I found it under the house!"

"Why the hell were you under the...AH!" She was pointing the gun at me. "DON'T DO THAT, IDIOT!"

"I-I-I'm sorry!"

"Gimme that!" I grabbed it from her. "These aren't toys...or plastic! These will kill you! Fucking moron! Listen, if you don't tell your dad, I'll teach you how to use it. 'kay?"

"Yeah!" I then began teaching her about how to properly hold a gun. "Remember, these kill and you should never use them except on people who wanna hurt you or kill you...or rape you...like Nicolas Cage."

"Why would he wanna hurt me? Isn't he some big movie star?"

"I'm talking about Nick." I rolled my eyes.

"We can go practice aiming on that tree outside." she said pointing at a tree outside. "Oh! Luke's back!"

She left the room. I followed behind her. Once I saw her downstairs, I saw she looked scared. "What's wrong? Your nerves got the best of you?"

"T-that's not, Luke!" she whispered.

"Who the hell is it then?"

"I-I don't know! H-he can't see me!" Sarah looked at me. "Make him go away!"

"Oooookaaaaay..." I walked over to the door and opened it up. It was a tall guy with a stubby kind of mustache. He looked like a creepier. "Yo."

"Oh hello there." he raised a brow at me.

"What brings you here? Are you here for one of my bitches?"

"I'm just looking around the neighbor...wait what?"

"Are you here for one of my hoes? You know, prostitutes? If not, get the hell outta unless you wanna be one."

"Are you trying to say you're a pimp?" he looked incredibly amused as he kind of smirked.

"Wipe that damn look off your damn face before I do it for you asshole. I've got a whip and ball gag upstairs and I'm not afraid to use them." I glared at him.

"Cute." He stepped inside.

"Come right on in, mister. I'm in no way going to slap that flat ass and shove a piece of wet soap up your ass." I said rolling my eyes. "I'm also not going to in no way going to make you participate in an orgy."

"What?"

"Nothing!" I hummed.

"So...what's your name little girl?"

"It's…uh…Carley."

"Carley, huh? That's a sweet name."

"Yep." I said staring at his ass he went into the living room.

"You here alone?" he asked looking at me.

"Duh. You seeany of my bitches here?" I gestured around the room. "Of course you don't. They're out getting some in exchange for some supplies as they should be."

"What happens if they don't return with anything?"

"You don't wanna know...but it involves that fireplace over there and something really hot near a certain place." When he looked at me funny, I shrugged. "I've gotta keep my bitches in line."

"Riiiiiiiiight..." he took a look around the living room. "Hm...I knew a guy who wore a shirt like that. He was a real smart son of a bitch. He's a doctor. He ran with a group that used to be in mine own...his daughter...a pretty little pregnant lady..."

He was looking at a shirt Carlos apparently likes to wear. I crossed my arms. "I don't care."

"That's a very rude thing to say."

"Does it look like I care?" I raised a brow.

"Hm..." he went into the kitchen. "Wow. There's a lot of dishes here."

"Like I said, I've got a lot of whores."

"And none of them know how to clean up?"

"They do...or do they...hmmm...I guess they only know how to clean up certain messes. Never mind that. They'll do it when they come back." I noticed a knife beside him and looked at him.

"You know, you've got a pretty good body build. Have you ever thought about being a stripper?"

"Noooo..." he looked at the knife I was eyeballing and picked it up. "Where does this go?"

"Up someone's ass. There's a guy that likes that type of shit that stops by every Mon...oh you mean where it belongs when we're done with it? Over there." I pointed over to a drawer. He placed the knife back into the drawer and went back into the living room. "You done yet? If you ain't here to be a whore, you need to fucking leave. If you're here for pleasure or pain or both, then I'm not your girl. I'm just the hostess. You can wait if you want. I've got plenty of varies. A MILF, at least three submissive types, although you might have trouble with one of them..."

Suddenly a loud creak was heard from upstairs. We both looked at each other. "Nice asshole...rea lnice...don't you know it's rude to fart in front if a lady?"

"That wasn't..."

"THEN HOW COME I CAN FUCKING SMELL IT!?"

He sniffed the air. "OH GOD! WHAT THE...?!"

I smirked as he covered up his nose and then glared at me. "What the heck have you been eating?!"

"Don't look at like that bitch! You know you're the one who dealt it, so deal with it." I rolled my eyes. Suddenly a door closed. He looked up.

"I thought no one was here..." He looked at me.

"How the hell should I know? Could be a robber or rapist...or both...like I said, how the hell should I know? What am I? A security camera?" I rolled my eyes as he went upstairs. 'Stupid whore...can't she keep more quiet if she's scared of him?!'

I followed him upstairs as he looked around and was looking in Sarah's room. He rubbed his chin and picked something up and smirked. "Well...well...what's this?"

He showed me the picture. I looked at it and then at him. "So? It's just some loser."

He didn't seem all too convinced. "You don't know who these people are, do you?"

"What are you talking about...did one of my whores bite your dick off or something?!"

He merely left the room and started to leave. "I'll let myself out."

"DUDE, I'M SERIOUS! DID THEY BITE YOUR DICK OFF OR NOT!? IF SO I WANNA SEE! COME BACK HERE YOU FUCKER AND ANSWER ME!" I shouted, but he kept walking. "WELL COME BACK FOR A BJ OKAY?!"

"You have a good day now." he simply said.

Once I made sure he was gone, I went into Sarah's room. "Hey, Sarah!"

"I-is he gone?" she whispered from underneath the bed.

"Yeah. Get your ass from under there, dumbass." I called out to her. She came from underneath the bed looking scared.

"I-is he coming back?"

"Nope...maybe...I really don't give a shit. He's not after me." I looked out the window.

"We have to tell dad!" the older girl whimpered looking around nervously.

"NO. WAY."

"Why?! He might come back here and kill us!"

"Don't be so dramatic. It's not like he has a bunch of people with him. What kind of dumbass comes to look for someone or some people alone?"

"True…but I think we should still tell dad. He could be coming back." Sarah looked nervous.

"Let him come back! I really don't care about majority of the people here to be honest."

Sarah seemed to only to listening a little bit. I glared at her, went to the kitchen, and drunk some apple juice until the others poured in. "DAD!"

"Oh. You people are back. For a minute there, I thought Sarah'd be stuck with me." I said in relief and half jokingly.

"A man was here." I looked over at Sarah. That fucking snitch! I glared at her.

"What?" Carlos looked at me. "Did you let him in?"

"Well duh. He was going to come in anyway. You left the fucking door unlocked, you asshole!" I glared at him. I turned to Sarah. "And next time, keep your mouth shut Sarah, plain and tall."

"I told you not to let anyone in the house!"

"Did you not hear what I said, dammit?!" I yelled. "The door was unlocked! If you fuckers had locked the damn door, the mother fucker wouldn't have come in!"

"H-he...he talked about you dad."

"Did he say what his name was?" Rebecca asked looking suspicious.

"No. Why would he give his name? I don't want it." I said crossing my arms.

"Why the hell didn't you ask his name?!"

"Why the hell do you care so much?" I asked raising a brow. Was he the father of her baby? He did call her pretty, which she wasn't.

"What did he look like?" questioned Carlos.

"He had a brown coat with some white fur around the collar."

Carlos looked frustrated. "Everyone get your things. We have to leave. NOW."

I looked confused as Carlos approached me while everyone ran for their things. "Clementine, William Carver is a very dangerous man. You'd be a lot safer if you came with us."

"I really don't have a choice." I said. I looked around. "Where's Nicolas...I mean Nick? Didn't you get him…I mean if you guys left him on purpose, let's go before that idiot catches up."

"We couldn't find him." said Luke. "Could you show us where he is?"

"I guess so." I shrugged. After everybody was done packing up their things, we headed out to find the idiot.

* * *

* ** _Sarah, Plain and Tall_** is a name of a book I used to love reading as a kid. I don't think Sarah's plain, but I did it as a play on words.

As a side note, I'm starting a Q & A fanfic where you can ask the characters of Scumbag Clementine questions and stuff. I would say Scumbag Lee too, but that is yet to be finished/have more than 2 chapters up. You can still ask things though to people from Season 1 though. You can ask anything you want. I may also upload the full story of the previous version of this story. See you guys in the next chapter!


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